Not Too Busy For Joy

I loved the little stream that runs across the front, and all the lilac and bougainvillea, and the statuary sprinkled throughout. Shakyamuni was there of course, as was GuanYin, and DiCang (Ksitigarbha), and MiLoFo (Maitreya). And someone that I think was GuanYu appropriately right at the entrance. Personally, I was delighted to see that Saint Francis and Mother Mary with Baby Jesus were included as well.

So often when PV folks talk about challenges we’re facing, it sounds just like the challenges that UUs are facing. For example, one of the questions raised during our discussion yesterday was how to get members to be more engaged, noting that people are so busy and their schedules are full. This is an issue that UU congregations grapple with as well.

I didn’t say anything to the group because I was relatively new to them and also felt that my thoughts were not fully formed enough to share. But as folks were discussing this problem I was thinking that in my experience, when the thing that you’re asking folks to participate in feeds their needs then the scheduling issues and people’s busyness tend to disappear.

If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution.

– Emma Goldman

To be clear, I am NOT claiming that people are lying about being busy. We are busy. What I’m saying is that when we’re being asked to be in two or three different places for any given time, we prioritize which one we choose to give our time either based on feelings of obligation or based on what is more fun, nourishing, fulfilling, feels more impactful. And if something is fun, nourishing, fulfilling, and/or feels more impactful, then people will prioritize that over other things.

So if we are asking folks to participate in something and they say that they are too busy, what they are likely actually saying is that given the number of responsibilities and activities I already have on my plate, this thing that you’re inviting me to sound like it will take more from me than I’ll get in return. (Of course sometimes people are genuinely just too busy at that moment even tho they truly would’ve liked to participate.) And of course sometimes people are willing to do something that takes more from them than they get back, out of love for the community or sense of obligation, but it is unsustainable and not something we should rely on.

And again to be clear, when I say this aloud/spell it out, I’m NOT saying that we should be mad at people for saying that that they’re busy. (It would be pretty hypocritical for me to get mad since I do the same thing all the time.) Instead, what I’m saying is: If the thing that we’re organizing that we’re asking other folks to join us in does not come across to them as meeting their needs – whether the need for fun, or a sense of community or of making a positive impact, etc – then either we’re not communicating well enough how the thing *will* meet their needs or, perhaps it really doesn’t meet their needs. And if the latter, why are we doing it?

If a project sputtered out because there weren’t enough people to support it, maybe it was meant to. Or maybe it actually is a good project but we haven’t yet found the right language to convey what makes it worthwhile.

And of course, there are things that need to be done that by their nature are just not very fun. For example, cleaning up after an event. But in that case the not-fun-yet-necessary thing can be coupled with something else that is fun and/or fulfilling. (Not everything needs to be “fun,” but things need to feel worthwhile.)